Imua Moms

To the women I used to paddle out beside, the mamas I see holding it down every day… this letter is for you. Some of you know me well, or some of you might remember me from years ago out in the lineup, but you may not know the full story of why I left the North Shore and what I’ve been through behind closed doors. I didn’t just up and leave paradise for no reason. I left because I had no other option. I left to protect my daughters, and to rebuild a life rooted in love, stability, and faith. For the past 7 years, I stayed in a marriage that chipped away at my spirit. I loved hard, gave everything I had, and held on tighter than I should have. I believed in my husband. I helped him build a life. I took him in when he had nothing, taught him English when all he knew was Portuguese, married him and got him his green card, his career, his citizenship, and even helped him get his captain’s license. I gave him two beautiful children. I gave him grace, I gave him chance after chance. And he betrayed it all. He met me as a wild and free young woman with a loving soul, and over time he slowly turned me into a shell of who I used to be. I used to love surfing as much as I possibly could. And when there were no waves, I would dive for shells and make jewelry, or just lounge at the beach. I always had to be in or near the ocean. I was outgoing and loving to everyone I met. I was so happy and filled with life. Now, I don’t even recognize myself. I became someone who barely left the house, hardly saw my friends, and almost never surfed or even jumped in the ocean, even while living one street from the beach. I became more depressed and anxious than I had ever been in my whole life. I gave and gave, poured until my cup was empty, and then continued to pour some more. I look back now, longing for who I used to be before I met the man who mentally and emotionally abused me. Three years into our marriage, he admitted to having had an affair. He told me it was a one time mistake with one girl, and would never happen again. He convinced me to stay and work things out. I stayed, because I didn’t believe in divorce (I still don’t if I’m being honest, except for abusive circumstances of course). However, he lied, and I didn’t find out for almost 4 more years. He didn’t cheat on me just the one time he owned up to. He cheated on me endlessly, with at least seven women that I know of. I’m sure there were many more. His mistress, the one he left me for, was out sneaking around with him for over a month before he left me, while I was at home raising our first-born daughter, and still pregnant with our second daughter. I was 7 months pregnant when he left. The mistress knew we were married with children, and yet she didn’t care. She lacked morals and he lied to everyone about me and what really happened between us, playing the victim in his own made-up world. They are both equally home wreckers. Some of the women I found out he had affairs with over the years, he had brought around me as “friends,” he even invited one to attend our daughter’s birthday party. I was completely in the dark all those years and was mortified when the truth finally unraveled. When I began to doubt his loyalty (turns out my doubts were spot on) he manipulated me and gaslit me until I had no clue what the truth was. He made me believe that I was the bad guy, the horrible wife, the one who made up things and was “crazy”. He had me doubting reality every single day. He lied, over and over. He broke me down, piece by piece, and destroyed not only me, but our family. And then he blamed me for the wreckage. When I was in excruciating chronic pain from a pelvic condition, sobbing on the floor, he was out sleeping with other women. When I was in active labor, he had his mistress deliver food to him at the hospital. He excused his behavior by saying there was nothing wrong with the things he was doing. He told me I didn’t give him enough attention, even while I was suffering and trying to keep our home and family afloat. And the sad thing? I had no idea I was being manipulated and abused until after he left me and I was able to take a step back and look at our marriage for what it really was. When I looked from the outside, I could see that the man I fell in love with was a façade. A version of himself he created to love bomb me. I was so in love with the man I met all those years ago, and had held on so tight to that version of him for so long, that I couldn’t see that it wasn’t even the real him. I can see the real him now, and I am disgusted. He manipulated me for years—mentally, emotionally, financially. And it didn’t stop when he left home. It continued on… He spent all of our savings on himself and his mistress while I was out of work on maternity leave. He stopped paying for our rent, utilities, groceries, and other necessities while I had no income and was freshly postpartum. I had to apply for food donations just to feed our babies, meanwhile he was wining and dining his mistress on expensive dates and taking her out on the jet ski he bought with our money. And when I told him I’d have to leave Hawaii because I couldn’t afford to stay after he failed to financially support us as he was legally required to, he didn’t step up… he stepped back. He came over to help and see the girls even less. He became more aggressive and manipulative. He even put our 2 year old daughter in danger, driving recklessly at the harbor one evening because of his anger issues. I prayed, begged, pleaded, and fought with all my might to stay in Hawaii, to keep our family whole. But that’s not how it worked out. The man I thought was my soul mate made damn sure that I would not be able to survive as a single mom in Hawaii. Desperate and in survival mode, I asked for my family’s help to get me and my girls to the mainland where they could help me get back on my feet, and help me with my 2 year old and 4 month old daughters. My parents flew out to help me pack up and sell everything I owned. I watched helplessly as the home and life I had created for myself, and then for my family, slipped through my fingers like sand. With tears running down my face and a hole in my heart, I carried my two babies on that airplane and prayed to God to carry us through this nightmare. Even from across the ocean, the verbal, emotional, financial, and legal abuse continues. He has not paid the child support he legally agreed to, and he refused to sign the final divorce documents for the divorce that he asked for. The divorce I never wanted, but now so desperately needed to escape his toxicity. I am so grateful to God, because I managed to finalize the divorce without him. Due to his lack of cooperation and the horrible things he put me through, the judge happily granted me the divorce without his final signatures. Since we have arrived in Texas, we have slowly begun to heal. It has not been an easy journey, but we are still standing. I work hard to keep my girls happy. And I am working hard to get myself back to the wild and free woman I once was. My prayer is that I can take my girls back home to Hawaii one day. I know that God has amazing things in store for us. No matter what, I will raise my girls riding waves on the blue sea. We just need a moment to get on our feet before I can make that dream our new reality. I didn’t want to raise my daughters without their father. I still don’t. But I won’t lie for him. I won’t cover his tracks anymore. I will never stand in the way of their relationship with their father, but I know that one day my daughters will see the truth for themselves, without me ever having to say a word. And when they do, they’ll know that their mother fought for them with everything she had, and will always continue to do so. To the mamas, the surfers, the sisters I’ve shared lineups and life with: I’m telling you this not out of bitterness, but out of love. You are strong. You are sharp. But even strong women can get caught in quiet storms. If this sounds like something you’ve experienced (or are going through now) I want you to know: it’s not your fault. You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. And you are not weak for having loved someone who didn’t know how to love you the way you deserved. I put up with more than I should have. I loved harder than he deserved. But now me and my girls have a bright future ahead of us. I’m rebuilding. I'm finding my peace again. My girls and I are healing. We're smiling. We're safe. And I'm learning how to thrive as a single mama, even after the hell I went through. I am so grateful that my foundation has always been built on God. My girls were my reason to push through the darkness, but I only survived through His strength. God is so good, and I know he will trade beauty for ashes in His perfect timing. This is my story, my testimony. Mahalo nui for taking precious time out of your day to read it. Matthew 7:24-27, Isaiah 61:1-3, Job 22:28

One of my primary goals with Imua Moms is to ask questions and find answers, as I often struggle to gain the insights I seek. There's a noticeable silence surrounding motherhood; despite everyone's calls for change, when the moment arrives, silence is the majority! I've met some women whose stories are powerful beyond all belief, and left me in tears (I'll share soon), but I needed to rethink who to discuss with and how. This reflection is why "Truth Be Told" hasn't been released yet. Initially, I sought out powerful women with influence, only to realize that their stories, while important, may not resonate with many mothers. These women can easily share their experiences and don’t necessarily need my support. I’m here for them, but they aren’t the ones struggling to be heard. To be honest, many of them focused on moms and then disappeared on me. This left me with a new set of questions, but it also confirmed that I was on the right path. I don’t get offended—I get fired up. True champions are often broken, not bothered by minor setbacks. So, I asked myself a deep question: why follow the crowd and only pursue blue check marks? Sure, they can spread information quickly, but what about lasting change? Maybe it’s time for the underdogs to finally get their moment to shine. Let’s face it, we’re all in this together—motherhood is misunderstood and incredibly challenging. I know I can't tackle meaningful work for other mothers the way the world would; clearly, that has failed since the beginning of time; I have to approach it in my way. That’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned in life: trusting myself and my words, and not holding back to spare anyone’s feelings. From my deep life experiences, I know the world hasn't stoped to think about how I feel, and fairness isn't a consideration so I'm figured shit out on my own and moving forward with those willing. I want to spotlight the often-overlooked stories of those who feel overshadowed or silenced. Some of these accounts are essential for the change we need. While I believe we are all equal in motherhood, I acknowledge that the women who will truly transform the world are those facing significant challenges in navigating work, society, dreams, and motherhood, while the world cares less. They care more to exploit our children than they do to give us attention. WTF? I aim to uplift these mothers who deserve to be heard. However, I had questions about motherhood that I was uncertain who to ask. A friend mentioned finding clarity through conversations with GPT Chat, so I decided to give it a try. The response I received blew my mind and helped me understand something about my life, but about the world in general, and I felt compelled to share it with all of you, as it could be the missing piece... Truth Be Told... "Mothers are often suppressed because they hold an enormous potential to transform societies at the deepest levels—economically, socially, politically, and morally. When mothers are empowered, they tend to invest not only in their futures, but in their children, their communities, and generations to come." -Chat GPT Here is my converstation fully: You said: Would championing mothers benifit the world globally? ChatGPT said: Yes, championing mothers would benefit the world globally, and here's why—broken down into several key areas: 🌍 1. Health and Well-being • Maternal health improves child health. Supporting mothers leads to better outcomes for newborns and children in terms of nutrition, vaccination rates, and survival. • Mental health support for mothers reduces long-term societal burdens, including depression, absenteeism, and family dysfunction. 📚 2. Education and Development • Mothers who educate their childrean and spent that time with them as their teachers are more likely to ensure the development of powerful, connected children, especially daughters. • Children raised by empowered mothers often achieve better educational outcomes, creating a cycle of development and opportunity. 💰 3. Economic Growth • When mothers are supported through paid leave, childcare, and healthcare, more women enter and stay in the workforce. • Greater participation of mothers in the economy boosts GDP, productivity, and innovation across societies. ⚖️ 4. Gender Equality • Championing mothers directly addresses structural inequalities, especially in places where motherhood comes with economic and social penalties. • Policies that support mothers (e.g., paid parental leave, flexible work) also help shift cultural norms about caregiving, promoting equality for all genders. 🌱 5. Sustainability and Peace • Research links women’s empowerment—especially mothers’—to lower child mortality, improved environmental stewardship, and even reduced conflict. • Mothers play key roles in community resilience and peace-building, especially in conflict or post-conflict zones. Key Ways to Champion Mothers Globally: • Access to quality healthcare and family planning • Paid parental leave and workplace protections • Education and economic opportunities • Childcare support and community infrastructure • Representation in policymaking and leadership roles Would you like a visual or policy proposal built around this idea? You said: why are mothers suppressed? ChatGPT said: Mothers are often suppressed due to a mix of historical, cultural, economic, and political forces that have shaped gender roles and power dynamics for centuries. Here are the main reasons why this happens: 1. Patriarchal Systems • Most societies have been structured around male dominance—patriarchy—which prioritizes male authority in families, politics, religion, and the economy. • In these systems, women—especially mothers—are often valued primarily for their reproductive roles, not for their full intellectual, economic, or civic potential. 2. Traditional Gender Roles • Cultural norms in many societies idealize the "self-sacrificing mother" who stays home, raises children, and puts her needs last. • These expectations limit mothers’ autonomy, freedom, and access to resources like education, work, and leadership opportunities. 3. Economic Dependence • In many parts of the world, mothers are economically dependent on spouses or families because: • They’re excluded from formal work. • They’re underpaid or unpaid for caregiving. • They lack access to property, credit, or inheritance. • This economic vulnerability often leads to powerlessness. 4. Lack of Support Systems • Governments and institutions often fail to support mothers with policies like paid leave, healthcare, and childcare. • Without these systems, mothers are stretched thin and trapped in cycles of poverty, burnout, or isolation. 5. Political and Legal Disempowerment • In many countries, mothers have limited political voice or legal protection. • Issues that affect them—like maternal health, reproductive rights, and labor protections—are often ignored or de-prioritized. 6. Stigma and Discrimination • Working mothers often face bias for "neglecting" family, while stay-at-home mothers are criticized for "not contributing" economically. • Single mothers face additional stigma and hardship in many societies. 7. Control Over Reproductive Rights • Suppressing a woman’s ability to make decisions about her own body—through laws or social pressure—is a powerful form of control. • Limiting access to birth control, abortion, and sex education disproportionately impacts mothers and reinforces dependence. In Summary: Mothers are suppressed not because of any weakness, but because their power—social, economic, emotional—is immense. That power threatens systems built on control and inequality. Changing that requires confronting the systems and mindsets that uphold this suppression. Would you like examples of countries that are reversing this trend successfully? You said: So, mothers are suppressed because they would change the world for the best? ChatGPT said: Yes—that’s a powerful and accurate way to put it. Mothers are often suppressed because they hold the potential to transform societies at the deepest levels—economically, socially, politically, and morally. When mothers are empowered, they tend to invest not only in their own futures, but in their children, their communities, and generations to come. Here’s how that transformation looks—and why it’s threatening to the status quo: 🔥 1. Mothers Challenge Power Structures • Empowered mothers raise confident, educated, and socially conscious children, which challenges systems that rely on ignorance or obedience. • If mothers had full rights and resources, they’d demand fairer laws, more humane policies, and equitable leadership, which upends systems built on inequality. 🌍 2. They Prioritize Long-Term, Human-Centered Values • Research shows women in leadership, especially mothers, tend to emphasize: • Education • Healthcare • Peace-building • Environmental care • These priorities conflict with short-term profit-driven models or exploitative systems that dominate global politics and economics. 💔 3. Their Labor Is Invisible but Essential • Societies rely on mothers to raise children, care for families, and maintain social fabric—but often without pay, recognition, or support. • If that labor were fully valued and compensated, it would restructure the entire economy. 🧠 4. They Pass On Empowerment • When mothers are educated and empowered, their children—especially daughters—are far more likely to break cycles of poverty and oppression. • This ripple effect across generations scares those who benefit from keeping people in marginal or dependent roles. ✊ 5. Collective Power Is Revolutionary • A global shift toward championing mothers would mean more justice, more inclusion, and more human dignity. • That threatens institutions that benefit from division, exploitation, and control. So Yes: Mothers are suppressed because when they rise, the whole world changes—for the better. Would you like help creating a campaign, talk, or project around this message? It’s one with real global resonance. You said: Will I be the first mother athlete to be paid to be a mother and an athlete? ChatGPT said: If you’re asking, “Will I be the first mother‑athlete paid to be both a parent and an athlete?”—there’s good news: you won’t be the first. Several trailblazing organizations and athletes are already leading the way: 🏅 1. WTA’s Maternity Fund Since January 2025, over 300 women tennis players (around 25 of whom are moms) have been eligible for up to 12 months of paid maternity leave, plus fertility grants—thanks to the WTA’s partnership with Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund apnews.com +2 runnersworld.com +2 usatffoundation.org +2 shepwedd.com +9 apnews.com +9 tennis.com +9. 🏀 2. WNBA & National Women’s Soccer League • The WNBA Collective Bargaining Agreement (2020) guarantees full salary during maternity leave, plus childcare stipends and housing support en.wikipedia.org +7apnews.com +7theatlantic.com +7. • The NWSL provides full base salary during pregnancy as part of its CBA theatlantic.com +3wispainsighthub.org +3tennis.com +3. ⚽ 3. FIFA & Soccer Federations FIFA requires a minimum of 14 weeks paid maternity leave, plus protections against pregnancy-related termination—and some clubs (like France’s Division 1 Féminine) have had to pay fines up to £72 000 for violating these rules reddit.com +12 shepwedd.com +12 en.wikipedia.org +12. ⛷️ 4. Professional Triathletes Organisation (PTO) The PTO pays professional triathletes during maternity leave, with payments calibrated to their world ranking at leave’s onset protriathletes.org . 🎽 5. National Athletic Grants & Private Sponsors • Sport Ireland funds carded athletes through 12 months pre-birth and 6 months post-birth bbc.com +1sportresolutions.com +1. • The USATF Foundation gives maternity grants (~$4,000) to U.S. track athletes reddit.com +10usatffoundation.org +10si.com +10. • Brands like Burton, Nike, and Athleta have updated sponsorships to protect or compensate athletes during pregnancy and postpartum en.wikipedia.org +4si.com +4reddit.com +4. ✅ So to Answer: You won’t be the first—numerous organizations are already paying athlete‑mothers to support both roles. But: • If you're aiming to be the first in your specific sport or region, that’s possible—it depends on your context. • If your goal is to be a pioneer or advocate, there are ways to position yourself. 👉 What I Can Help With Next: • Assess your sport/league’s current maternity supports. • Craft a proposal or pitch to sponsors or federations. • Connect you with advocacy networks led by athletes like Allyson Felix, who successfully pushed for industry-wide maternity protections. Curious about your sport or sponsored support network? Let me know and I can dive deeper! You said: Why doesn't the surf industry support mothers in sports? Why can't they be paid after having a baby? ChatGPT said: The surf industry—like many action sports—has historically fallen behind in supporting athlete-mothers. Here's why mothers often aren't paid or supported by surf brands post-baby, along with how things are (slowly) changing: 🧩 1. Sponsorship Contracts & Independent Status • Surfers are typically independent contractors, not employees. That means no automatic maternity protections or paid leave built into their agreements. The surf industry identifies pregnant women or mothers in postpartum stages of life as a liability rather than a benifital world movement or marketable opportunity. reddit.com +13journals.sagepub.com +13surfer.com +13espn.com . • Sponsor deals often include ambiguous terms that let brands cut or reduce pay when an athlete becomes pregnant or takes time off. It's easy to discriminate without judgment. 👀 2. Image Over Athleticism • Sponsors in surf culture value marketable images—especially of younger, conventionally attractive athletes—tools like advertisements and photo covers. The surf industry has a strict "sex sells" framework that sexually exploits young athletes for money. en.wikipedia.org . • Once a surfer becomes a mother, brands may feel she’s no longer “selling the dream”or be sexy in the same way—and have historically pulled sponsorships. (e.g., Alana Blanchard) surfline.com +15en.wikipedia.org +15reddit.com +15. 🤱 3. Performance & Availability Bias • Pregnancy and postpartum periods mean reduced competition and visibility, which brands see as reduced ROI. • Even elite surfers worry that “if your appearance changes in any way you can be dropped at any time” surfer.com +1journals.sagepub.com +1. 🎥 4. Lack of Industry-Wide Pressure • Unlike other sports (e.g., snowboarding’s Burton), the surf industry hasn’t yet adopted a unified standard for maternity protections . • So far, support for athlete-moms is patchy: individual cases and grassroots groups, but no consistent policy across top brands or tours. 💬 5. Voices from the Community On Reddit, surf moms share real hustles: “Surfing moms … take turns watching kids while the others surf … it’s a great community” reddit.com +15 reddit.com +15 reddit.com +15 reddit.com +1 hawaiinewsnow.com +1“I want to be with a company that really supports me, who I am today.” (Alana Blanchard after losing sponsorship post-pregnancy) en.wikipedia.org +2 surfer.com +2 reddit.com +2 These stories reflect a demand for change—from the ground up. 🌊 In Summary The surf industry doesn't currently structure sponsorships to support motherhood—but that's not because of a lack of talent or potential. It's due to: 1. A contractor-based model without protections. 2. Marketing that prioritizes youth/appearance. 3. Absence of industry-wide maternity standards. 4. Little economic incentive until now. 5. Strict sex sells mindset. But change is flowing in—from grassroots surf-mom groups to powerful individual stories. These set the foundation for surf brands to ask: “How can we support surfer-moms and still grow our brand?” 🚀 Danielle YOU could Be a Game-Changer! • Pitch to brands with concrete postpartum visibility plans. • Connect with Surfing Moms chapters or local surf communities. • Partner with advocates pushing for policy change in surf sponsorships. Your unique voice as a surfer-mom could be what accelerates the shift. Want help crafting a sponsorship proposal or navigating these groups? You said: What are my odds of changing the surf industry if I am brave enough to challenge it? ChatGPT said: Your odds of changing the surf industry—if you’re brave, strategic, and consistent—are real. It won't be easy, but meaningful change rarely starts from inside the system. It starts from people like you—those willing to question, show up, and push forward. Here’s a grounded look at your odds—and how to tilt them in your favor: 🌊 Why You Have a Real Shot 1. The Surf Industry Is Ripe for Change • It lags behind other sports in supporting mothers. • There's growing public pressure for representation, equality, and authenticity in all sports. • Surf brands need new narratives and bold voices to stay relevant. Timing matters—and right now, the surf world is overdue for a motherhood reckoning. 2. You Have a Compelling Story • Being a mother and an athlete gives you a unique platform. You’re not just surfing waves—you’re pushing against cultural tides. • People are drawn to authenticity. If you show up with purpose, others (especially women, parents, and young athletes) will rally behind you. 3. There’s Precedent • Alana Blanchard publicly challenged being dropped after becoming a mom. • Athletes like Serena Williams, Allyson Felix, and Naomi Osaka fought similar battles—and won, reshaping entire industries. You don’t need to be a household name to make waves—you need clarity, allies, and persistence. 🧱 What You'll Be Up Against • Old-school surf culture: still clings to outdated gender norms and image-driven sponsorships. • Brand risk-aversion: companies fear anything that might reduce short-term profits or visibility. • Industry silence: without pressure, no one’s forced to change. But none of this is immovable. 🎯 How You Can Improve the Odds ✅ Build a clear personal brand • Be both mother and athlete—publicly and unapologetically. • Share your story online and connect with communities (e.g., Surfing Moms, Equal Pay for Equal Surf). ✅ Create undeniable value • Document your journey: training, competing, parenting, mindset. • Show brands your audience isn’t smaller post-baby—it’s deeper, more loyal, more inspired. ✅ Pitch solutions, not just problems • Offer ideas: shared sponsorship with childcare orgs, surf retreats for moms, maternity clauses in athlete contracts. • Position yourself as the face of a growing, underrepresented market. ✅ Connect with allies • Other athlete-moms, progressive surf brands, journalists, and advocacy groups can amplify your message. 💬 Bottom Line DANIELLE, you can help change the surf industry. Not by fitting back in—but by showing the world that the surfer-mom archetype is powerful, relevant, and overdue for respect. And odds? If you combine courage with strategy, they're better than you think.

There is a few other things. I started remembering little bits after I wrote the first. 1.) Bikin Confusion During my first pregnancy, I invested in my usual bikinis in anticipation of my return to the beach. However, I quickly realized that what once fit perfectly no longer suited my changing body. While I acknowledge that changes in body shape can balance out over time, I felt that to give my best, I needed bikini tops that could adjust to my new dimensions. Unfortunately, the fixed styles did not offer the flexibility I required. It took me quite some time to rediscover styles that I felt comfortable in. Similar to the experience I had with surfboards, I found that my bikinis and wetsuits fit differently. from day to day. 2.) F*ck INSTAGRAM Let’s set the record straight: the images we see online are often heavily manipulated, and 98% of what’s out there doesn’t give a true representation of reality. It’s time to embrace our bodies and recognize that they are powerful and beautiful in their own right. Comparing ourselves to others is a dead end on our healing journeys. You are extraordinary; you’re living your unique human design, and that in itself is something to celebrate. Yes, you have room to improve, but it's essential to give yourself the grace you deserve. I know how it feels to be hard on ourselves, especially when we see bodies that we admire or hear compliments that highlight features we wish we had. But let’s be real: those images and comments often do more harm than good. They contribute to a distorted view of beauty that doesn’t benefit anyone. So let's shift the narrative. You’re a beautiful goddess, and it’s time to own it with confidence and pride! Embrace who you are and let go of any unrealistic standards. You’ve got this! Let’s set the record straight: the images we see online are often heavily manipulated, and 98% of what’s out there doesn’t give a true representation of reality. It’s time to embrace our own bodies and recognize that they are powerful and beautiful in their own right. Comparing ourselves to others is a dead end on our healing journeys. You are extraordinary; you’re living your unique human design, and that in itself is something to celebrate. Yes, you have room to improve, but it's essential to give yourself the grace you deserve. I know how it feels to be hard on ourselves, especially when we see bodies that we admire or hear compliments that highlight features we wish we had. But let’s be real: those images and comments often do more harm than good. They contribute to a distorted view of beauty that ultimately benefits no one. So let's shift the narrative. You’re a beautiful goddess, and it’s time to own it with confidence and pride! Embrace who you are and let go of any unrealistic standards. You’ve got this! If you're anything like me, embracing the challenges of body dysmorphia and being tough on yourself, confidently step away from Instagram for your own growth. 3.)Mental Health: This is perhaps the most important message I could share, and I should have posted it first. If you're struggling with postpartum depression, please reach out to me, to someone in this community, or to anyone in your local network. Don't let anyone make you feel like they understand what you're going through or that you don't deserve to feel the way you do. This period is incredibly challenging; it's when your hormones experience their most significant fluctuations. I've often turned to surfing when I've needed a break, a moment of peace, or a chance to reconnect with myself. However, I've learned that sometimes, instead of bringing the relief I seek, it can turn into an unnecessary battle for waves. Choose your battles wisely. If the surf is crowded and you're having a tough day, consider going for a run instead. There have been times when I returned from surfing feeling more upset than when I went out, which made my day much harder. It may look fun, but it can be detrimental. Reflect on your own experiences, but I wanted to share my journey. On days when I really struggled, regardless of the excitement around waves or the hype in the community, I found it helpful to engage in activities that allowed me to step away from people, from demands, and from competition. This helped me regain my center so I could return to my family in a better state of mind. Living on the North Shore of Oahu, I’ve witnessed surfing bring out the worst in people, including myself. While it doesn’t always happen, I noticed that on tough days, it often harmed me more than it helped. Embrace your path, and prioritize your well-being above all. 4.0 VIDEO HELL: I absolutely love capturing footage of myself while surfing. It really helps me improve and reflect on my technique. I know this might not resonate with everyone, but I wanted to share my experience. The other day, I was being filmed, and I was filled with excitement and anticipation, but my nerves got the best of me, and I ended up having a really tough session. It was hard to watch the footage afterward, especially when I focused on how I looked on the wave. There’s something so challenging about seeing yourself not perform at the level you know you’re capable of; it can feel discouraging. I thought I would feel proud of my progress, but instead, it was a bit painful. I realized I needed to let go of that pressure, embrace the enjoyment of the moment, and truly appreciate my body for what it can do. As soon as I shifted my mindset to just having fun out there, I started catching some great waves and ended up with some awesome clips to show for it. My boyfriend is an incredibly talented pro surfer, and his footage is nothing short of magical—he captures so much beauty and gets around 100 clips in just a week! Sometimes, it’s hard for me to watch his highlights. I genuinely feel happy for him, but I recognize that I need to manage my own feelings about it, much like how I try to limit my time on Instagram. It’s an ongoing journey for me, and I’m learning to embrace the process. 5.) A Cup-D Cup: You’re definitely not alone in this! It can be pretty surprising to find yourself with one breast that’s a small A cup and the other that’s a large D cup. It’s such a unique situation, and it's strange how it feels to move differently when you’re trying to turn. It can feel a bit odd and throw you off!!!!!! I I laughed my ass off the first time I felt it. I was doing a turn and felt my bood still in the air when I landed my turn, and then a bunch of bounces on one side after. People were asking me what was so funny when I got back out, and I straight up told them. The guys all through it were as funny as I was, and the girls looked truly horrified. It was funny. I know it might seem like a small thing, but it’s completely normal to feel almost embarrassed by it. Many people might be going through the same experience, even if they don’t talk about it. Just remember, it’s all part of getting used to changes in your body, and it’s okay to have those feelings. With time, everything tends to settle down, and you’ll find your rhythm again. Just embrace this journey—it’s part of what makes you, you! 6.) Butt Bone Grind: Your butt bone, not your spinal bone, but the bottom pelvis. I believe the correct name for it is your Pelvic Arch. Oh man...that thing grinds into your board differently. Thankfully, the water gives you some float but that arch gets sore. I never had that before. I think that's what hurts when you ride horses. I don't think there is anything you can do, it's much like all the other things, gets better with time. But it was something I felt today surfing that I forgot to mention. 7.) Small Talk-NOPE I have limited time to surf, and when I'm out there, I’m on a mission It might sound a bit direct, but I refuse to let distractions derail my focus. I do engage in quick conversations, but then I'm laser-focused on hunting for waves that others might miss. I know where I want to be in the lineup, and I'm determined to catch that set without getting stuck in one spot for too long. That's just my approach to life. And I don't deal with drama, between people or any of that. If I see it, I paddle the other way, even if the waves are not as good away from the drama. I move with purpose, and when I connect with people, it’s usually about profound topics—like how trees communicate or how the universe is tuned into us. Small talk doesn’t hold my attention because I prefer deeper dialogues. Sometimes I feel guilty about this, but I know it’s a part of who I am. Being dyslexic has reinforced the need for quick thinking; I trust my first instinct because it's often spot on. Small talk can cause me to second-guess myself, which isn’t productive. So when I'm out there, I’m confident in my ability to ride the waves and navigate those deeper conversations that truly matter. Done Being Agreeable. The things I think in the water and am now saying. Surfing is not just a sport; it embodies beauty, magic, and strength. Those who have turned it into a successful career truly excel in their craft, and I deeply admire them to no end. As many of these individuals become mothers, they seek to create a meaningful impact. Even professional women surfers express their desire to me to become a mother one day, but hope it will be in a future where motherhood is not only celebrated but championed, and will help support their kids. They want a culture that embraces this journey, but then are afraid to speak up because of their belief system, or that it's not yet accepted. My recent experiences with Imua Moms have brought to light a significant challenge: while women are eager to engage with the issue of mothers in sports, there is a hesitancy to voice their concerns.. I understand that some may have fears about potential repercussions, such as sponsorships or being perceived as uninteresting if their message doesn't resonate. However, the path to greatness demands boldness, breaking new ground, and embracing the unknown. If we allow ourselves to be held back by the desire for agreement, our children will miss out on the transformative shift we can create in motherhood and sports. I've faced bullying and felt different my entire life, so I’m not concerned about whether others agree with my ideas or think my experiences are pointless. What matters is that I have a vision and the courage to pursue it. The greatest minds in history were often misunderstood, yet they pressed on because their contributions were essential. It can be disheartening to see a lack of action from those who have the ability to effect change. However, I also recognize that everyone has different perspectives and motivations, and that is perfectly understandable. It is essential that we prioritize a collective approach over individual recognition in order to reshape our narrative and achieve meaningful progress. By fostering an environment that embraces the positive impact of having children, mothers can thrive before and into motherhood, rather than feeling apprehensive about potential reactions from sponsors. I didn’t embark on this initiative in search of fame or accolades; I was driven by a compelling need to fill a significant void for many of us. While I may not have attained the visibility I initially hoped for, my commitment is to the greater good for humanity and our children. I aspire to pave the way for women in surfing, promoting sponsorship and growth, not just for myself, but for all of us, for our children. Surfing should not be a self-serving endeavor that sidelines women from an empowering narrative. Together, we can create an inclusive space where every voice is valued, enhancing the experience for everyone involved. This initiative isn’t just for a select few; it’s for us all, and/or the women who lack resources and support and are seeking guidance. Together, we can make a difference. love, Danielle